


We Live Through Scars

by RogueTwelve



Series: Ever the Same [6]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Major Character Injury, as fluffy as I get
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 07:41:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25347124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RogueTwelve/pseuds/RogueTwelve
Summary: Bellamy comes to an unexpected revelation -There’s nothing like your daughter having a riding accident to remind you how incredible your wife is.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Series: Ever the Same [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1724509
Comments: 13
Kudos: 171





	We Live Through Scars

**Author's Note:**

> This work is part of a series. If you want context, please read the previous works. If that’s too much effort, there’s a summary of Sanctuary at the beginning of the second work. 
> 
> Title: Scars - James Bay

Bellamy couldn’t remember a day when he’d been more energized at the end of a shift. It had been busy and arduous, and yet there was a gentle current of excitement running just beneath the surface of his skin.

Spring Break had just started, meaning Serenity was out of school for the next week. He’d taken his next couple shifts off of work, not wanting to miss the opportunity to spend quality time with his daughter. Clarke was in Denver at a conference, but she’d be getting home the following evening, meaning they could all spend time together as a family – something that he wished they had time for more often.

Serena was growing up so fast. It made his heart ache when he stopped to think about it too long. It seemed like just yesterday, he was dealing with the nervous anticipation of finally getting to take her home from the hospital. He wasn’t sure when she’d turned into a spindly spitfire – all long legs and an insatiable sense of adventure. But he wished he could get her to hold still for just a minute – capturing the memories before they slipped past, too quick for his fingers to grasp.

He’d vowed to himself that he’d make the next week one to remember. There were so many half-formed ideas racing around his head. He had the next day’s plan pretty solid though. He was going to take her for a day trip out to Shenandoah – just the two of them. Which meant that they both needed to rest up.

He turned his SUV inland, headed toward TonDC. Serena had had to spend the day with her cousins, considering he’d been on a 24-hour shift. She’d probably be pretty tuckered out, knowing the way that she got whenever she and Bryce were left to their own devices. Being so close in age, the two kids were like peas in a pod – if peas could get themselves into every type of mischief imaginable. Octavia had probably more than had her hands full.

His phone started ringing and he sighed, glad that he’d finally invested in a vehicle with Bluetooth. His sister’s name appeared on his dash and he answered quickly, hoping to get the conversation over with before he had to focus on merging onto the highway at rush hour. “Need me to pick up something on the way?” he asked wryly.

There was a brief pause before his sister’s voice came through. “Don’t freak out.”

His jaw tensed automatically. “Really not the way to start a conversation if you want the other person to remain calm O,” he managed through gritted teeth. His grip on the steering wheel tightened in apprehension.

He could almost hear her wince through the phone. “You’re probably right. Um…”

Her hesitation and the uneasiness of her voice really weren’t doing anything to soothe him. “Just spit it out.”

Exhaling sharply, she finally spoke in a rush. “Ren had a bit of a mishap on the trail-“

He felt his stomach plummet. “Octavia, what do you-?“

“She’s okay!” she was quick to add, trying to ward off his impending panic. “Well not completely okay, but-“

“Not helping.”

“We’re at the children’s hospital at Norfolk General-“ she tried to explain to him rationally.

“ _Really_ not helping.”

“Just listen, okay? She’s honestly doing fine. I wouldn’t have even called you yet but I’m not her parent and they need your permission for surgery-”

“Surgery?! Jesus H. Christ Octavia, what the _hell_ -“

She let out an exasperated groan. “Obviously I’m making this worse. It’s not a rush, but you need to come okay? I’ll explain what happened when you get here. For now just… try to focus on getting here safely. And remember – she’s alright.”

“Octavia, what-?” he tried a little desperately to get more information out of her, but she’d already ended the call.

His mind raced, coming up with dozens of nightmarish scenarios. Adrenaline coursed through his veins, pulling his body into a tight coil, while his gut roiled violently. His teeth ground together until they felt liable to break.

He forced air into his lungs. Octavia had been right about one thing – he still needed to drive safe. Getting into an accident wouldn’t help anyone.

The sign for the exit into Norfolk came into view and his foot ground subconsciously into the accelerator. He didn’t visit the city very often, but the signs for the hospital were easy enough to follow. He parked haphazardly, not particularly caring if he ended up with a ticket and raced toward the building, narrowly avoiding being run down by a cyclist as he approached the front doors.

The lady at the information desk seemed a little taken aback by his abrasiveness, but she gave him his daughter’s room number nonetheless. Before she could say anything else, he was already on his way, dodging through patients and other visitors with little regard.

Octavia had managed to spot him nearly as soon as he’d turned down the correct hallway. She’d slipped out of the room, closing the door gently behind her, and was waiting for him, her arms folded protectively across her chest.

He made to reach past her for the door handle, but she stood firm.

“What happened?” he asked her exasperatedly when it became apparent his sister wasn’t going to budge from her post.

Octavia’s forehead twitched, betraying her apprehension. She tried to stand a little taller as she stared him down. “She had an incident on the trail. Her horse got spooked. She’s okay Bell – she was wearing a helmet and it took the brunt of the impact to her head but-“

He’d had more than enough of her explanation. He physically moved her out of the way of the door and let himself in, Octavia making an exasperated noise behind him.

The kids were all there – Marie reading quietly in a corner, Serena tucked into the hospital bed, with Bryce sitting on top of the covers beside her. Both of them looked engrossed by whatever his nephew was playing on his Switch.

He calmed down slightly when he was able to actually see his daughter, seemingly comfortable and relaxed. Then his eyes zeroed in on the stark white plaster cast in her lap.

“She broke both of her arms,” Octavia sounded sheepish as she attempted to continue her explanation.

His jaw ratcheted right back into drawn bowstring territory.

“The right one is just a tiny hairline fracture along the bone. The doctors are expecting she can be out of the cast in three weeks. But the left-“

Bellamy’s eyes flickered to where her other arm rested on a rolling table. It was being covered by a sterile towel and Bellamy was briefly grateful that he couldn’t see whatever damage laid underneath. It seemed utterly ridiculous that he’d literally seen people torn to shreds in war and had to deal with other horrific injuries on a day to day basis at work – and yet when Serenity had fallen off of her bike the previous summer and scraped her knee, the sight had made him instantly lightheaded. It was just different when it was his little girl.

Octavia released the lip she’d been biting. “It’s an open fracture. They need to put her under to reduce it, and I guess they have to do some other stuff to make sure it doesn’t get infected.”

He continued to just stare. None of the kids appeared to have clued into his presence yet.

Octavia shifted at his side. “Bell, say something,” she demanded quietly, unnerved by his silence.

Without a word, he shot her a glare, then moved further into the room, sitting down on the edge of the hospital bed. “Hey kiddo,” he said softly, running a hand up Serena’s shin and giving her knee a squeeze.

His daughter finally looked up, and her face instantly brightened when she saw him there. “Hi Dad!” she gave him a toothy grin.

His heart melted as it usually did whenever she smiled at him. “How are you feeling?” he asked her gently.

Her expression didn’t falter. “I had a bit of an accident.” Her nose wrinkled a little bit. “Did you know that your ears stick out kind of funny? Like a cartoon!”

“They gave her some of the good stuff,” Octavia informed him with a grimace. She’d moved closer to the bed, her posture still defensive.

Bellamy’s spine stiffened back up at the reminder of his sister’s presence. “And where the hell were you?”

“I was at work Bell. I had clients. I can’t watch the kids every second of the day.”

Bellamy ground his teeth. “I understand that. But I thought you were smarter than allowing a couple of 8 year olds to go off riding on their own.”

Serenity made an indignant noise. “ _Bryce_ is 8 dad. _I’m_ practically 9,” she informed him as if it made a world of difference.

He patted her leg but ignored her comment, keeping his heated gaze trained squarely on his sister.

O raised a perturbed eyebrow. “And I thought you were sensible enough not to yell at me in front of the kids. But I guess everyone is just in for a world of disappointment today.” Her eyes darted to the corner of the room pointedly.

Bellamy shifted, following her gaze. Marie had closed her book. Her face was ashen and tears were streaming silently down her cheeks. When she caught her godfather looking at her, she instantly ducked her head. “I’m so sorry Uncle Bellamy. I should have been keeping a closer eye on them, but they just rode off all of the sudden and it took me a minute to catch up and by the time I got there Ren was already on the ground.”

Bellamy groaned internally. This wasn’t on the 12 year old. “I’m not mad at you Marie. I know how Serena and Bryce can get when they’re together.”

Octavia kicked his heel, and he whipped his head back to look at her, his gaze catching on his nephew as he turned.

The boy had also stopped playing his game, looking supremely guilty. “We were just having a race! How was I supposed to know that Apollo would get spooked? I didn’t mean for Rena to get hurt. You know I wouldn’t do something like that.”

Bellamy felt himself deflate. He groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. “I’m not upset with you either Bryce. I’m just…“ he shot Octavia another look. She pursed her lips in response. He ended up being the first one to look away, turning to hook the tips of Serenity’s casted fingers with his hand. He decided to just change the subject. Fighting about whose fault it was was pointless. It’d already happened.

“When are they planning to do the surgery?” he asked wearily.

Octavia finally backed down as well. “First thing tomorrow morning.”

Serena fidgeted grumpily. “They said I can’t eat anything after midnight. That’s not fair. What if I wake up and I’m hungry?”

Bellamy smirked. For such a skinny little thing, his daughter never stopped eating. “I guess we’ll just have to make sure you’ve had your fill before then.”

Her eyes lit up. “Can I have a burger?... and cheese fries?”

He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. “I’ll even find you a root beer float.”

Her smile grew impossibly big. “Best day ever.”

His eyebrows rose. Only in kid logic could it be considered the ‘best day’ when both of your arms were going to be immobilized for the foreseeable future. The drugs were probably helping things too.

He held in a sigh. “I’ll be right back Angel.”

She’d already turned back to Bryce, the two of them huddling over the little game console and whispering to each other conspiratorially.

Standing up, he palmed his keys, tossing them up and down a few times as he headed for the door. Octavia followed close behind.

“Stay with her,” he growled stiffly after they’d closed the door.

“Of course I will.” She caught the sleeve of his t-shirt before he could walk away. “I really am sorry Bellamy.”

“You damn well should be,” he muttered, pulling away and heading for the parking lot. 

The Shake Shack wasn’t exactly close, but he knew it would make Serenity really happy and that was what was highest on his priority list. The drive also gave him a chance to cool off a bit.

After pulling into the parking lot, he stopped for a minute. He needed to call Clarke. As much as he really didn’t want to worry her, it wasn’t fair to keep the fact that their daughter was in the hospital a secret. His chest tightened a bit in apprehension. He was never a fan of having Clarke far away, and dropping bad news on her just made him feel even more anxious. It took him a few minutes to drum up the resolve, but eventually he dialed.

She sounded really cheerful when she picked up the phone and that just made him feel even worse.

He nibbled at his lower lip for the better part of a minute, then decided to just get it over with. “Babe, I need to tell you something.”

There was silence for a moment before she spoke once again. “Is this about Serenity’s accident?”

He was speechless. His lack of response seemed to clue Clarke in to his apparent distress. “Octavia already called me,” she explained.

Still stunned, he struggled to find words. “You’re not upset about what happened at all?” Maybe he was projecting, but he couldn’t fathom how composed she sounded.

“Of course I’m upset Bellamy… especially that I’m not there to take care of her. But Octavia said she was doing alright and she sounded like she was in pretty good spirits when O let me talk to her on the phone. Did I miss something?”

“She broke both of her arms Clarke! She needs surgery,” he sputtered in disbelief.

“Bellamy,” Clarke’s tone was incredibly even, trying to get him to calm down. “Kids break bones. And especially with a hell raiser like Serenity it was bound to happen eventually.”

He worked his jaw. “It shouldn’t have happened. She shouldn’t have been riding without supervision.”

Clarke sighed. He could hear her moving on her end of the line. “I know. But Marie made a mistake and I’m pretty sure she’s more than learned her lesson. Poor kid is probably traumatized and beating herself up. Bryce too.”

At that he frowned. He’d been so dead set on blaming Octavia that he’d never really thought about how it’d actually happened. Obviously he’d been there for the argument, but he hadn’t truly let any of the words sink into his skull. Marie probably would have been babysitting the younger kids… she was 12 and it was a responsibility they’d been letting her take on more and more. And he knew first hand how Serenity could get when she got an idea in her head – she’d probably been the one that had instigated the whole thing in the first place.

He thought back on how remorseful his niece had looked in the midst of his tirade and cringed. He definitely hadn’t handled that situation well. “Marie usually has such a good head on her shoulders,” he muttered, as he continued to puzzle through how he’d missed things.

“She still does,” Clarke tried to soothe him. “It was a lapse in judgment and it had consequences. We’ve all been there.”

Bellamy groaned - him more than most.

“Are you okay?” she asked him. It sounded like a bird called in the background and a frown flickered across his face.

Then he thought about her question and a bitter chuckle rolled past his lips. “Do I sound like I’m okay?” He scrubbed at his forehead roughly with his palm. “I’m sorry Clarke. It’s been a really long day and when things involve Serena I just…”

“I know. Try to take a deep breath okay? You’ve got this. And I’ll be back tomorrow night. I know that this isn’t how you’d wanted to spend Spring Break, but sticking around home might not be that bad. We’ll figure it out. And I can guarantee it’ll be something Serenity remembers for the rest of her life.”

He made himself relax, leaning back against his headrest. “I love you, you know?”

He could hear her grin through her words. “I’d assume so, considering how much you’ve put up with through-“

He heard a muffled crack. “Oh shit-“ Clarke exclaimed softly, then there was the unmistakable sound of gravel shearing against itself.

“Clarke?!” he asked a little frantically, shooting upright in his seat.

His ear was met with a burst of uncontrollable laughter. She tried to explain what had happened to him a couple of times, but wasn’t able to take in enough air to get the words out. Finally, after a few minutes - by which point Bellamy was ready to find a way to get in touch with the Denver PD - Clarke was able to sputter out at least part of her story. “I’m sorry… I just wasn’t expecting to round a corner right into a deer.” She laughed a little more. “I don’t think she was expecting it either. Poor thing took off like a shot.”

His grip on the dashboard loosened slightly. “I wouldn’t blame her… I can’t remember the last time I stumbled upon a deer in a conference hall,” he commented drily. 

There was silence on the other end of the line for another long moment as Clarke continued to compose herself. “I know.” Her voice was finally steady. “There were just _so many people_ here Bellamy. And then I got the news about Serenity and I just - I needed a break. I skipped the last session of the day to drive out to Idaho Springs and go for a hike.”

He felt his shoulders deflate a little bit, torn between feeling relieved that she was taking care of herself and worried that she was out on a trail somewhere alone. “Are you alright?” He asked, allowing a little bit of his apprehension to slip into his tone. 

“These leggings have definitely seen better days… and I think I donated a chunk of my knee to the trail.” He could hear a hint of playfulness in her voice. “But yeah - I’m okay Bell. I promise.”

He continued to chew at his lower lip, some of the chapped skin giving away. 

She sighed. “I was on my way back. I can literally see the rental vehicle from where I’m sitting. It’ll take me 10 minutes to get there once I convince myself to get off my butt.”

His lips twitched. She knew him so well. “You know I’m still going to stay on the line with you until you’re safely back in that car.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything different.” It sounded like she was fighting a grin as she said it. 

They continued to chat about mundane topics until, as promised, Bellamy heard the engine roar to life in the background. He relaxed. 

“I’ll call Raven - get her to pick up Beau for the night,” Clarke let him know, sounding a little tired. 

“I’m sure it’ll be a real hardship for her,” he commented wryly. Raven had taken the dog a lot when Serenity had still been in the NICU. Frankly, he was shocked they’d been able to convince her to give him back. 

Clarke laughed lightly. “I’ll make sure she knows it’s only for a day.”

His eyes caught on the clock on the dashboard and he grimaced. 

“I’ve gotta let you go Babe,” he ran a hand through his curls. “I was supposed to be on a food run when I called you. If I don’t go back soon, our little monster is liable to start chewing on one of the nurses.”

Clarke snorted. “More like convince them to buy her a bunch of junk from the vending machine.”

He grinned, knowing she was probably right. 

There was a brief pause, and he could almost feel the mood shift. 

“Bellamy, can you… just- make sure you call me tonight okay? Before Serenity goes to sleep.”

He nodded without hesitation. “Of course.” His hand squeezed at his thigh subconsciously as a little bit of worry crept back in. “And I’ll keep my phone on - like always.”

“Me too.” Her voice had gone quiet, more contemplative. “I love you too, Bell.”

He whispered his goodbyes before hanging up, then closed his eyes, pushing his shoulders firmly back against his seat. After a few deep calming breaths, he finally got moving. He probably should have been back at the hospital already.

Luckily, the dinner rush had passed and the restaurant wasn’t too busy. Once he’d been loaded down with bags of food - he’d gotten something for his niece and nephew as well - he got back into his vehicle and headed back to the children’s ward.

All 3 kids’ faces lit up when he came back into the room. He’d always been _that_ uncle, something that he was admittedly proud of, and he was glad that the heavy feeling from earlier seemed to have evaporated. Octavia still seemed weary, but he could handle that. Striding past her, he handed out his loot and settled into a chair beside the bed. 

Admittedly, he’d never actually thought through how Serenity was going to eat a burger without the use of her hands. It took some creativity and made one hell of a mess, but eventually she managed to scarf down her entire meal - and a good portion of his fries too. He was left with a sleepy looking, but content little girl. And his niece and nephew thought the whole thing was hilarious, so there was always that. 

Once all of the food was gone, Octavia made to usher her children towards the door. It was getting pretty late. 

Bryce stopped at the threshold, fidgeting nervously. 

Bellamy raised an eyebrow where he was sitting on the edge of the hospital bed. 

“Uncle Bell, do you think maybe we could come visit before Spring Break is over? I promise I can be really careful around Rena,” the young boy asked, keeping his eyes downcast. 

Bellamy gave him what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “I don’t think I could keep you away if I tried.”

Bryce’s deep brown eyes twinkled as his lips curved into a toothy grin. Octavia pushed him through the doorway lightly, shooting her brother one last apologetic look before disappearing down the hallway. 

Bellamy held in a sigh. He knew that he should let it go, but he just wasn’t there yet. And his relationship with his sister had survived much worse. 

The bed jolted slightly as Serenity flopped her head back against her pillow, as if she were trying to fluff it without using her hands. “How am I supposed to sleep like this Dad? There’s no room to spread out.”

He reached past her to rearrange the cushions, before pulling the blankets up closer to her chin. Arguably, she had more than enough space - she just had a tendency to lie diagonally across her double bed at home. “I’m sure you can tough it out for one night Ren.” He leaned forward and kissed the side of her head. “I’ll be right back okay? I just need to arrange to have a cot brought up here.”

A crease appeared between her eyebrows. “You don’t need to stay here. I’m a big girl you know.”

His heart clenched - the reminder that she was trying to grow up way too fast like a direct punch to his sternum. “I’m staying Serena.”

She pouted dramatically, but before he left the room he caught her expression shifting to one of vulnerability when she thought he wasn’t looking and it just solidified his stance.

It didn’t take all that long to get things set up. They were in the children’s ward - parents stayed with their kids all the time. It definitely wouldn’t be the first time he’d be staying by Serenity’s side overnight. Those first few months of his daughter’s life had been tough. 

His chest tightened. He didn’t hate hospitals. But he certainly hated how often the women he loved seemed to end up in them. 

He’d stopped at the nurses desk on his way back to make sure all of the necessary insurance forms and other paperwork were properly filled out. By the time he got back to Serenity’s room, an orderly had already set everything up. His daughter was lying flat, head nearly buried in her fluffy pillow, with her eyes already half lidded. 

He took up his usual spot at the foot of her bed and gave her ankle a little shake. “Wake up Sleepyhead. Your mom wanted to talk to you before you drift off.” He pulled out his phone and placed it on the sheets beside her elbow, scrolling through to his recent contacts. 

Serenity shifted her feet under the blankets. He looked up to see that she was chewing at the inside of her cheek, looking self-conscious. She quickly covered it up, pulling a face. Her eyes flickered down to the phone before darting back up to his. 

“You know what I could really use before they have me on enforced starvation?”

Bellamy tried to cover his grimace. He’d actually been starved before - but that was something he hoped his daughter never had to find out. “What’s that?”

Her eyes twinkled a little mischievously. “Doritos.”

He gave her a look. He wasn’t an idiot. It was pretty obvious she was trying to get rid of him. But if she wanted some privacy to talk to her mom, he wasn’t going to argue. “Any particular kind I’m supposed to be looking for on this hopeless quest?”

She leveled him with a glance of her own. “Cool Ranch obviously.”

He rolled his eyes playfully. “You’re killing me kid.” Reaching for his phone once again, he dialed and turned on speaker phone before leaving the room. 

He caught a snippet of Clarke’s melodic voice just before the door closed and felt warmth spread throughout his chest. That was a sound he never got tired of hearing. 

Finding Doritos wasn’t actually much of a challenge at all. They had them at the gift shop at the end of the hall. He still wandered around aimlessly for an extra 15 minutes just to give his girls a little extra time to chat without interruption. 

When he arrived back, he was surprised to find Serenity already fast asleep. Without a second thought, he discarded the bag of chips into a corner of the room. Making his way to his daughter’s bedside, he pocketed his phone, then brushed her chestnut hair back from her forehead, pressing a tender kiss to her temple. “Goodnight baby girl,” he whispered against her soft skin, then made sure she was tucked in properly. 

He just watched her sleep for a little bit - something he hadn’t allowed himself to do in ages. It still pulled at his heart just as much as it had when she was little. Some days he still couldn’t believe he was a dad. After a life scarred by far too much tragedy, it was the best thing that had ever happened to him. 

Her eyelashes fluttered across her freckled cheeks, her lips slightly parted on quiet little breaths. He could tell that she was dreaming, but it seemed to be about something peaceful. That was all that he could ever ask for. 

A nurse poked her head into the room and gave him a soft smile before dimming the lights. He stayed at Serenity's bedside for a few more minutes before sighing. Toeing off his shoes, he climbed onto the stiff cot and did his best to settle in, ignoring how uncomfortably familiar it felt. 

He continued to watch his daughter until his eyes refused to stay open any longer and he finally gave in to the pull of sleep. 

***

The surgery happened without a hitch. The nurses didn’t even tell him off for trying to wear a hole through the floor with his pacing. 

He stayed glued to her bedside from the moment they wheeled her out of the recovery room until hours later, when it was finally deemed that she was well enough to go home. 

She still wasn’t completely lucid, the anesthetic having yet to fully wear off, but he wasn’t going to complain. They’d both feel better in the restorative environment of their home. 

He tucked her into the backseat of his car, carefully securing the seatbelt so that it rested under her sling. Her head lolled lazily, but she managed a little grin for him, before her eyelids fluttered closed once again. 

She mumbled incoherently about nonsensical things the entire way home. Bellamy was sure he would find it funny and adorable when he looked back on it in a few days. For now, it just reminded him that his little girl was hurt. He tried to keep his mind focused on the road instead. 

When they were just entering the wildlife preserve, her tone changed, becoming more steady. “Dad?”

He glanced at her in the rear view mirror. Her bright blue eyes were trained on his reflection. “Yeah Serena?”

She worried her lips against each other for a moment. “Do you think I’ll have a scar?”

His jaw tightened as his foot unconsciously eased off of the accelerator. Her voice had simply sounded inquisitive, but he needed to tread carefully. Scars were a touchy matter in their family. He had more than his fair share, but Clarke… 

Hers had been a constant torment. 

Clarke’s experiences were written across her skin so clearly it was impossible to ignore. It had been more than a decade, and over that time she’d slowly come to terms with the permanent reminder - allowing them to show when she was around her close friends and family.

But they were certainly still a sore subject for her. He knew that no matter how much progress she made, she would never be fully accepting of them - she’d never be able to simply see them as a symbol of her survival the way that he did. 

And because of that, her scars were something that they’d never talked about in front of their daughter. 

He knew that that had to be confusing for Serenity. But she’d also never asked, and in a way he guessed that they’d used that as an excuse to avoid the topic all together. 

At the same time, he knew Serenity wasn’t immune to their problems. She’d certainly witnessed her parents’ struggles before and that killed him. She knew about her mother’s depression, and his night terrors. She knew that both of her parents saw a therapist regularly. 

It would be naïve to think that she wasn’t curious about what had happened to them, and that she wouldn’t have at least some issues of her own by association. But she was still a child. Bellamy could never be convinced that it was wrong to try to shelter her from the horrors of her parents’ trauma. 

He tried to approach her question as cautiously as he could. “I can’t say for sure… but yeah Baby Girl, it’s probably going to leave a mark,” he was careful to keep his tone neutral. 

What he wasn’t prepared for, was for her face to light up like it was Christmas morning.

His foot twitched to the brake and the vehicle ground to a halt. Throwing it into park, he turned around in his chair, giving his daughter what he was sure was an incredibly bewildered look. He didn’t even know what to say, his throat clicking as his mouth opened uselessly. 

Serenity seemed to pick up on the fact that he needed an explanation. “Aunty O says that Mom’s scars prove what a badass she is. She told me that they’re there to show everyone that she’s a hero and that she saved both of you.”

Bellamy was speechless. A car honked before maneuvering around them, the driver giving him the finger. After a few painfully long moments he finally found some semblance of his voice. “What else did she tell you?” he asked her weakly. 

Her little nose wrinkled. “Not much. She wouldn’t even say what happened. I’ve been bugging her about it for years.”

He was going to kill his sister. 

“But now I can have some cool scars too!” She prattled on. “And maybe one day I can be just as awesome as she is.”

His heart dropped. He was so torn on how to feel about the words coming out of her mouth. “Serenity honey, your mother is incredible. There’s no doubt about that. But…” his gut tightened again. “ _Wanting_ scars isn’t okay. Sometimes they happen and that’s a part of life. But I need you to promise me that you’re not going to go out of your way to get more.” His daughter was reckless enough as it was. Lord help him if she started self harming or deliberately putting herself in danger. He wasn’t sure that that was something that either he or Clarke would be able to cope with. 

Serenity looked at him as if he’d suddenly started to speak a foreign language. “Of course I’m not going to _try_ to get more. You have to _earn_ them.”

That wasn’t any better. 

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he counted through a few deep breaths. “Serenity…” he looked up at her, only to find that her eyelids were once again drooping, her head starting to tilt sideways. He let out a sigh. It wasn’t the time for a deeper conversation. 

Swallowing his misgivings, he put the SUV back in gear and got them moving again. They were only a few minutes away from the house. 

He was mildly surprised to find that there was already a car at the end of the long driveway - along with Raven sitting on the front steps petting Beau. He groaned internally. He really wasn’t in the mood for company. 

The dog’s tail started wagging frantically the moment they pulled up and by the time he was working on helping his daughter out of the vehicle, they had a mass of red and white fur bounding towards them. 

Bellamy whistled sharply and Beau stopped in his tracks, giving his owner a weary look. Serena wobbled on her feet for a moment, but then she broke out into a toothy grin, hurrying forward to scratch the labradoodle behind his ears with her casted hand. 

Raven strolled over, her hands tucked into her back pockets. “Dang kid, you sure know how to do a number on yourself.”

Serena’s eyes twinkled. “Sometimes fun has consequences. Weren’t you the one that told me that Aunt Rae?”

Raven’s cheeks darkened as she blushed. 

Bellamy felt his posture hardening even more. “Up to bed Serenity. You need to sleep off the rest of the anesthetic before you conk out and hurt yourself even more.” He placed a hand on her shoulder, steering her firmly toward the house. Raven was still hovering behind him, so he shot her a look. “I’ll be right back.”

He managed to get his daughter safely up the stairs and into her room. It took him a few minutes to arrange some cushions so that her arms stayed comfortably raised and she wouldn’t accidentally roll over onto one. By the time he was done, she was already passed out again. 

Stomping his way back down the stairs, he found that Reyes was waiting for him, leaning against the porch railing with her arms crossed. 

He sat down heavily on the front step. 

“Who shit in your cereal?” Raven asked him drily. 

Bellamy cocked an eyebrow, squinting slightly in the bright sun. “Apparently a lot of people - considering everyone seems to be encouraging my daughter to hurt herself.”

Raven’s shoulders tensed. “Not fair Blake. I was trying to explain hacking and how I got recruited to her. It didn’t have anything to do with getting injured. And before you ask, I very strongly discouraged her from doing anything illegal.”

He scrubbed his hands over his face roughly, digging his elbows sharply into his knees. 

Out of nowhere, Beau’s furry head appeared, insistently nudging his arms down. He bristled, but within seconds he’d relented, burying his fingers into silky fur. 

He’d secretly taught Beau to perform some psychiatric service dog behaviors, training him ever since he’d been a puppy. He’d done it for Clarke’s benefit, but the labradoodle picked up on his anxiety from time to time as well and it legitimately helped. He wasn’t going to complain. 

After a few moments of staring into deep, chocolate brown eyes, he allowed himself to speak. 

“She’s excited that she’s going to have scars like Clarke.”

Raven chewed that over for a moment. “You’re actually mad that your daughter idolizes her mom? Come on Bellamy. Clarke’s a goddamn survivor with more fortitude than over half the men we served with. Serenity could pick a far worse role model.”

He rolled his eyes. “Obviously that’s not the part that’s upsetting me.” When Raven just continued to study him without saying anything, he scoffed in disbelief. “You seriously don’t see a problem with this?” he asked incredulously. 

The NSA agent’s jaw ticked. “I think you may be reading too much into things.”

He shook his head stiffly. “You didn’t see how she lit up at the prospect.”

“She’s also 8 years old. There’s no way that she understands how significant that much scarring is. She has no concept of the trauma that came with it either. I'm sure she just sees it as another way that she resembles you guys, the same way that she’s proud that she has Clarke’s eyes and your freckles.”

His fingers tightened. “She told me that she had to earn them Rae - her words. Do you know how disturbing it is to hear your child say that?” He rubbed at his jaw. “God, what am I doing wrong?”

She walked over and dropped down beside him, placing one delicate hand on his knee and giving it a light squeeze. “For two people who never thought they’d be parents, you and Clarke have done an amazing job,” she reassured him quietly. “She’s so well adjusted… and she’s whip-smart, and sassy, and fearless. If you really think that this might be a sign of a bigger problem, then you know what to do Bell. Take her to get assessed by a child psychologist - it might not be a bad idea to do anyway. But I really think that this is innocent. She just loves you guys and anything that makes her more like you is something to celebrate in her world.”

He was still shaking his head. “I don’t know Raven.”

“Bellamy look at me.”

Reluctantly, he did as she asked. 

“Your daughter is _happy_. I know that that’s something that both you and Clarke fret about constantly. But everyone else can see it from a mile away. You’re worried about screwing her up but the reality is that you’ve done the opposite. You’ve made her strong.”

He tried to let that sink in. The ocean breeze ruffled his hair, licking at the thin layer of sweat coating the back of his neck. He suppressed a shiver. 

“I take it you guys will be sticking around for the week now?” she asked him lightly after he’d been silent for a few minutes.

He nodded. 

Giving him a little grin, she bumped him with her shoulder. “I have Wednesday off. I’ll swing by and we can have a girls’ night. You still have your weekly session with Gabriel?”

Again, he answered in the affirmative. 

Her smile broadened as she stood up. “Perfect. I’ll stick around for a bit after Serena goes to bed and we can talk more once you get home. And that means I can also get more Beau cuddles.”

The dog in question jumped up, placing his paws on her hip and she ruffled his ears affectionately. 

Bellamy allowed his features to relax a bit. “I’m sure Clarke and Ren would love that.”

She gave him one more loaded look as she dug her keys out of her pocket. “Don’t spend the rest of the day trapped in your head okay? Focus on the positives. Things aren’t as bad as you think, I promise.”

He blinked hard, then walked with her to her car. Before climbing in, she turned around and gave him a tight hug. “You’re a great dad Bellamy Blake. Lord knows I wish I could have had a parent like you.” She leaned up onto her toes and kissed the side of his head then gave him a wink. 

He waved to her as she drove off. 

In a daze, he stood alone on the driveway for a little bit, just thinking. 

What if Raven was right? What if he was reading too much into things? 

So much had happened in his life, it just felt like he should always be prepared for the worst. The few times that he hadn’t been, he’d been knocked on his ass so hard he wasn’t sure he would ever get back up. 

But Serenity was different. She’d been a constant bright spot. No - bright wasn’t the word. She was incandescent - like the sun, shining radiantly at the center of his orbit. 

Maybe he was waiting for the other shoe to drop - expecting something to snuff out the brilliance - because that was what he was used to. Maybe he just didn’t trust that he could have something _good_ without it being a struggle. 

A sharp bark pulled him back to the present. Beau was standing at the side of the house, his tail wagging expectantly. He followed the animal out onto the beach, then watched as the labradoodle picked up a large stick between his teeth and growled playfully. 

Bellamy tugged it free before tossing it out into the waves, Beau chasing after it excitedly. 

He wasn’t completely convinced yet, but maybe he could relax for a bit and allow himself to just see how things progressed. Because if there was one thing that Raven was absolutely right about, it was that Serenity was still a child. No matter how much she tried to convince everyone that she was grown up, there was still an innocence there and it was something that he couldn’t bear for her to lose so soon. 

Beau splashed his way back through the surf and dropped the stick at Bellamy’s feet. He stooped down to pick it up then launched it out toward the horizon once again. 

A quiet little giggle rang out behind him as the dog raced off. 

Bellamy spun around, his gaze instantly locking on sparkling blue eyes - the absolute spitting image of her mother’s. 

He raised an eyebrow, feeling his hands go to his hips automatically. “What are you doing up?” His brow furrowed. “And I thought I told you not to try the stairs without someone helping you.”

“I held the railing the whole way down, I promise,” she leveled him with an amused look. “But I was just so _bored_. I haven’t been allowed to do anything since yesterday afternoon Dad. I’m going stir crazy.”

He bit back a laugh, a small ripple of relief washing over him at the reminder that she was still the spirited little girl that he knew and loved. 

“I’m not really sure what kind of grand adventure you expect to be having in your current condition Ren.”

She rolled her eyes as if she couldn’t believe how ridiculous he was. “ I don’t need an adventure. I just need something more exciting than staring at my bedroom walls.” She flopped down on her butt in the sand. “Watching you play with Beau sounds good enough for now.”

Just as she finished her sentence, the labradoodle seemed to spot her. He bounded toward the girl, then nearly knocked her over as he skidded to a halt, licking her face incessantly. She let out a little shriek, but her smile pulled at her cheeks as Beau attempted to shake some of the sea water off of his coat. 

“Careful not to get your cast wet!” Bellamy couldn’t help the exasperation that slipped into his voice. He called the dog to him and Beau obediently trotted over to sit at his side. 

Serenity pouted. “Remember how Mom says that you’re a worry wart?” Her lips curled up ever so slightly. “She’s right.”

It was Bellamy’s turn to roll his eyes. Okay, so maybe he could be a little overprotective. He was starting to see more of Raven’s point. 

Leaning over, he picked up the stick and tossed it again. 

They stayed on the beach for at least an hour. Every so often, Beau would come back with a starfish instead, much to Serenity's delight. Bellamy let himself take comfort in the joyous sounds she would make as he wrestled the sea creatures away and tossed them back to their home. 

Just as Beau seemed to be starting to tire out, his daughter’s stomach rumbling caught Bellamy’s ear. He’d completely forgotten that she hadn’t really eaten anything since the previous night. “Let’s head inside okay? I’ll get you a snack while I make dinner.”

She made a face. “I don’t know if I’m really hungry.”

That was a first. He felt his eyebrows rise. “How about you just try, okay? You can take things as slow as you want, and then we’ll have a later supper after your mom gets home. Deal?”

She gave him a small nod. He put Beau into the dog run, then ushered her inside. It didn’t take long for him to throw together a healthy smoothie - he needed to make up for all of the junk he’d allowed her to eat the previous day. Once it was ready, he put it into a sealable cup with a straw, then set her up in front of the tv, throwing on random cartoons. 

When he was sure she wouldn’t get herself into any more trouble, he snuck outside to hose the dog off, then went back into the kitchen to try to put together some form of nutritious meal. He knew he was probably overthinking it - she could still kind of hold a fork - but it wasn’t easy to override his instincts to try to make things as easy for her as possible. 

He settled on pasta and a salad, starting to pull the ingredients from the fridge. Cooking was something that he took comfort in. It was a way that he could take care of people but also just sort of shut his mind off. Overanalyzing and worrying about his family took a backseat when he absorbed himself with the more pressing concern of making sure whatever was on the stove didn’t burn. 

He took his time, deciding to make gnocchi from scratch. He was just starting to shape the little dumplings, when Clarke’s key scraped against the lock. 

Beau went racing for the door at the same time that Serenity scrambled to her feet. His wife had barely made it two steps into the house when she was bombarded by her daughter jumping into her arms, nearly knocking them both over. 

“Careful Ren,” he warned, shaking his head as he wiped his hands off on a towel. Clarke’s eyebrows were lifted in shock, but she had a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. 

She put the girl down and stepped back, examining her from head to toe, taking in the arm in the sling as well as the one in the cast. “Look at you,” she admonished with a quiet click of her tongue. Serenity’s chin dipped toward her chest, and for the first time since Bellamy had arrived at the hospital, she actually openly let some of her vulnerability show. He felt his chest constrict as he leaned his hip against the counter. 

Clarke reached up a hand, threading it through their daughter’s hair and gently pulling it back behind her ear. “How are you feeling?”

Serenity’s lower lip wobbled the slightest amount, but she pulled herself to stand a little taller. “I’m fine, I think. It doesn’t really hurt anymore.”

Bellamy knew that Clarke was just as skeptical as he was - but like him, she didn’t push it. Instead, she reached down for the arm dangling by the girl’s side. “I’m surprised you haven’t managed to get this dirty yet,” she teased lightly, examining the stark white plaster.

Serenity’s lips twitched. “It kind of sucks that it’s Spring Break. When Charlotte broke her wrist in the fall, the whole class signed her cast.”

A spark of inspiration flashed through Clarke’s eyes. “What if we could do something even better?”

Serenity’s face lit up as she shifted on her feet. Within an instant she was almost buzzing with excitement. Bellamy watched the exchange in a new light, for the first time really picking up on just how much Serenity seemed to worship her mother and could take comfort from her presence alone. 

Clarke placed a quick kiss on her forehead. “Go have a seat in my studio. I’ll be right there.”

She didn’t need to be asked twice. With a renewed energy, the girl nearly skipped to the other end of the house, Beau bouncing along at her heels. 

Clarke let out a long breath, then made her way over to his side. 

His arms automatically found their home, sliding around her waist as he pulled her into a deep kiss. “Hey gorgeous,” he whispered against her lips. 

She gave his shirt a short tug, rising onto her toes to get better access as she brought their mouths together again. “You aren’t too hard on the eyes yourself.”

He chuckled, knowing he had flour smeared down the front of his shirt and he hadn’t even showered since he’d left the firehouse the previous day. It didn’t matter. They could never get enough of each other. And the reminder of how much Serenity absolutely adored her seemed to make him want her even more. 

He slipped one hand under the back of her sweater, his thumb rubbing tiny circles into the dimple at the small of her back. Moaning softly, she leaned into his embrace. “It’s good to be home,” she mumbled, tilting her head to look up at him lazily. 

A small smirk pulled at his lips. “Can’t argue with that.” He kissed the corner of her mouth, then pulled just out of reach, refusing to allow himself to get carried away. “Supper’s still going to be a bit. Hope you aren’t too hungry.”

She nodded as she made her way toward the next room. “No rush. We may be a while.” His eyes stayed glued to her until she’d completely disappeared through the doorway. He had to blink in order to refocus himself on the task at hand. 

He continued to cook, the soundtrack of his girls’ muted voices along with the occasional tinkle of laughter easing his mind as he worked. They sounded like they were having a great time, whatever they were doing, and it made him feel lighter than he’d felt in recent memory. 

Clarke and Serenity reappeared as he was setting the table, a huge grin enveloping the young girl’s features. “Check this out Dad!” She exclaimed ecstatically, holding her arm up for him to see. 

He examined the new development carefully. Her entire cast had been turned into a piece of art, depicting the familiar scenery of the forest surrounding their house at twilight. The sky was a swirling tapestry of blues and violets with even a hint of emerald here and there. Shadowy trees reached from her elbow up towards her wrist. Some of the lines were certainly on the shakier side, giving him the impression that Clarke had let Serena try her hand at adding a little bit of her own touch. 

All in all it was a masterpiece. 

He cleared his throat, trying his best to cover up the burning sensation rapidly building behind his eyes. “That’s amazing Ren,” he told her, his voice wavering ever so slightly. 

The girl seemed to glow under the praise. She flounced over to her usual chair, before dropping into it and determinedly experimenting to find a way to steadily hold her fork. 

He caught Clarke as she passed him, holding her back for just a moment. “You’re brilliant,” he whispered against her ear. She flushed slightly, squeezing his wrist, before finding her own spot at the table. 

Dinner was shockingly mundane. They kept up conversation the same way they normally would, Clarke regaling them with tales from her adventures in Colorado. Serena ate slower than usual, and Beau got more than his fair share of table scraps when she would accidentally fumble, but she was her usual independent self. 

By the time everyone was finished, Bellamy had witnessed Serenity fight back several yawns. She tried to hide it, but she didn’t have either one of her parents fooled. 

Clarke shot him a tiny smile before standing up. “Scoot kid. Let’s get you cleaned up before it’s time for bed.”

She made a face but didn’t protest, following her mother up the stairs. 

Bellamy stayed behind, tidying everything up. When the kitchen and dining room were back in order, he found that he was pretty exhausted himself. It had been a hell of a long day. He found it hard to believe that Serenity’s surgery had only been that morning. Rubbing under his eyes absently, he convinced his weary legs to take him up the stairs. 

His daughter was waiting for him on the landing, her damp hair pulled into a French braid over one shoulder. She used her unrestrained arm to reach for his hand. “Dad, can you tell me a story?” She asked, her big blue eyes shining innocently up at him. 

He felt his eyebrows shoot up. She hadn’t asked for a story in at least a couple of years. It was a part of her nighttime routine that she’d simply grown out of, preferring to read on her own. 

Clarke caught his eye, giving him a knowing look, a small smirk tugging at her lips. 

He’d been speechless for too long. Serenity was starting to get antsy beside him. He cleared his throat. “Of course, Ren.” 

Giving him an excited little squeak, she dragged him toward her room. 

The fortress of pillows he’d created earlier was still in place on her bed. Serenity kept pushing until he’d made it as close to his old familiar spot as possible, though this time he was certainly more wedged against the wall. She flopped down beside him, once again encased in cushions. Reaching over, he helped to remove her sling, and she settled back with Beau hopping up to curl up at their feet. 

Serena rolled towards him, giving him her best pleading look. “Can you tell the one about Eros and Psyche? I haven’t heard it in forever.” 

He smiled, shifting to get more comfortable himself. It was a long one. But he knew it was one of her favorites - one of Clarke’s too. Obviously they were both romantics at heart. 

Stretching out a little more, he leaned into the headboard as he began to weave his tale. He started by really playing up Psyche’s beauty because he knew that she loved it. Her bright blue eyes sparkled as she hung off of every word. 

A hint of movement in the periphery of his vision stole some of his focus. Not pausing in his storytelling, he looked up to find Clarke watching them from the doorway, her attention just as rapt.

She blushed lightly at being caught. He gave her a rueful look and she just shook her head. Without a word she backed out of the room. 

He kept his tale going. By the time he got to Psyche’s second task to prove her devotion, Serenity was fast asleep. He finished the story anyway, hoping his words would weave their way into her dreams, taking her on an exciting journey as she slept. 

Silence descended on the room. He laid there for a moment longer, feeling her soft breath brush against his shoulder at a slow even pace. Leaning forward, he brushed a light kiss to her cheek. “Sweet dreams little goddess,” he whispered to her quietly, admiring her tranquil features. 

A moment later he was doing his best to climb off of the bed without disturbing her. It was no easy feat. Beau lifted his head, but Bellamy gave him the signal to stay and the dog instantly settled back down, resting his head on Serenity’s leg as he turned off the light. 

Fighting back a yawn of his own, Bellamy made his way across the hall to their bedroom, contemplating turning in for an early night. He was met with a soft glow coming from the ensuite, as well as the sound of running water. 

Curious, he lightly tapped on the door and poked his head inside. 

Clarke was sitting on the edge of the bathtub wearing only a short robe, a glass of white wine balanced in one hand. She looked up at him from under the few tendrils of hair that had escaped her messy bun. “She’s down?” she asked quietly. 

Bellamy nodded, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him. He was hit by a warm rush of steam, the air heavily scented with a musky vanilla perfume. 

Clarke took a sip of her wine before looking over her shoulder and turning off the taps. “I know I was just in the mountains, but I felt like I needed a relaxing night.”

Bellamy raised an eyebrow, stepping a little closer. “Mind if I join you?”

Her expression lifted and she stood up, closing the distance between them. Rising onto her toes, she brushed her nose against his. “I couldn’t think of a better way to end my day.”

Leaning forward, he pressed his lips firmly against hers, using his fingertips to slowly slide the silky fabric of her robe down her arms. “I missed you,” he mumbled into her skin, trailing kisses over her exposed shoulder. He waited as she shimmied free, the material pooling at her feet. His clothing soon followed. 

Stepping into the balmy water, Bellamy sank down until he was resting his back along the curved edge of the tub. Clarke placed her glass on the counter then was quick to join him, settling down between his legs, her back pressed against his chest. Her lips parted in a sigh of contentment as the bubbly surface rose up around her collarbones. 

He had to agree. It felt heavenly on his tense muscles. He allowed his eyes to flutter closed, his arms resting loosely around her abdomen. The only sound in the room was the occasional drip of the faucet and the light tapping of tree branches against the picture window. 

Over the years, silence had started to bother him less and less - the absolute tranquility of their home having been a major contributor to that development. Now he could see quiet the way that Clarke did, for what it really meant - peace. 

The water seemed to ripple slightly as Clarke danced her fingers along the surface. “Octavia told me she never even cried,” her voice was so soft, Bellamy thought that he’d imagined it at first. 

He opened his eyes. She had her chin tucked down toward her chest, her expression hidden. Swallowing, he tightened his embrace the tiniest amount. 

“She’s strong like you,” he whispered into her hair, running his nose along the shell of her ear. 

Clarke scoffed, her shoulders pulling together ever so slightly. “I feel like I’ve never _stopped_ crying for the last fifteen years.”

His jaw tightened. “That’s not true Clarke,” he admonished, trying to get her to look at him. “You _know_ that’s not true.”

She didn’t reply. 

Pulling one hand out of the water, he used his index finger to turn her chin until her gaze was aimed in his direction. “God Clarke, Serenity looks up to you so much.” He thought back on the events that had transpired that day - especially his talk with Raven. “I didn’t even realize _how much_ until today.”

The corners of her lips pulled down slightly. “I’m not sure how I feel about that.”

He rubbed his thumb over her cheek, pausing with his hand cupping the side of her face. She automatically leaned into his touch. 

“I am.” He said it with conviction. Considering all of his earlier misgivings, he was surprised by just how true the words sounded as they left his lips. But he knew without a doubt that he meant them. “I’m fucking glad. If she turns out to be even half of the woman you are, I’ll know that I did something right.”

She wrinkled her nose, biting into her bottom lip.

He continued before she could contradict him. “Just in case I haven’t said it enough lately, not only are you beautiful, and so smart, and unbelievably kind… you’re also the bravest person I’ve ever met. And if that’s the kind of role model that our daughter wants to look up to, then I’m definitely going to continue to encourage it.”

She let her head fall back onto his shoulder, curling her legs up until her knees poked through the mass of bubbles on the surface. 

He intimately knew where her thoughts were straying. They’d had this discussion multiple times before, and he’d literally had the exact same meltdown only a few hours earlier. They both knew that mental illness had a genetic component. They were both terrified by the prospect that that would be the legacy that their daughter would inherit. 

But Raven had talked him off of the ledge and her words had made sense. It was time for him to return the favor. 

“I wish you could have seen the way that she was looking at you tonight, Clarke. I swear, it was as if you’d hung the moon.” He let his hand slide a little further down, massaging into her taut shoulder muscles. His eyes traced over her - _all_ of her. He took in every little detail - every inch that he loved with all of his heart - and made a decision. 

It was a risk, but he was taking it. 

“Do you know what Serenity told me today?”

Clarke inclined her head, giving him her full attention. 

He swallowed, trying to choose his words carefully. His hand subconsciously made its way toward her exposed knee, his thumb tracing along the outline of the newly scabbed over skin. 

“She was excited that she’ll have scars like you.”

Clarke stiffened, and he hurried to explain further. 

“Believe me, I know how scary that sounds. I beat myself up for the majority of the afternoon about it. But after some much needed deeper contemplation, I’m realizing that there was a purity to her statement. She sees the real you Clarke. She sees the warrior that wouldn’t let life beat her down. She sees the way that you take whatever the world throws at you, and even if it’s a struggle, you roll with it and let it make you stronger. You’re an inspiration. You inspire _me_ \- every damn day.”

He cradled her face towards his, capturing her lips - the subtle sweetness from the wine she’d been drinking tickling across the tip of his tongue. Pulling back slightly, he made sure that their foreheads were still touching. 

“She’s so lucky to have you Princess,” leaning in, he stole another chaste kiss. “And me - I feel like I’m the luckiest man in the whole world.”

Her eyes glowed softly as she trailed a hand across his pec. “You know she loves you too,” she reminded him. “That story tonight was all her idea. She wants to spend more time with you and she felt bad that your plans for this week got ruined.”

He let himself laugh lightly. “Not ruined - just postponed.” And he meant it. If she was expressing that she wanted to spend more time with him, he was going to make a concerted effort to make that happen. 

Clarke’s fingertips traced his own scar along the side of his ribs. “Maybe we could go for a drive along the coast tomorrow… see where the wind takes us. It’s not our usual kind of adventure, but it could still be fun.”

He grinned, trapping her fingers and bringing them up to his lips before releasing them. “It’s a date.”

She melted back into his embrace, causing him to soften as well. He really couldn’t believe the life he’d ended up with sometimes. The feel of her soft skin against his was enough to catch his breath. It was hard to express just how much he loved her. 

He dropped his hand back under the surface, gliding it over the curve of her hip, then massaged it across the top of her inner thigh. Clarke moaned, letting her head loll where it rested on his shoulder. Smirking, he let his fingers dip even lower, feeling the slick heat that had started to gather between her thighs. He circled her clit lazily for a moment, his other arm anchoring her pelvis down as he explored. 

Her breath hitched and her back arched as he slid one long finger inside of her, her ass pressing more firmly against him. He bit back a groan of his own, forcing himself to concentrate on building her up, rather than his own pleasure. “Just relax,” he mumbled against her ear. She mewled, turning her head to nibble at the angle of his jaw, his skin tingling in her wake. 

He built up a steady rhythm, his thumb keeping pressure on her bundle of nerves. Her breathing increased, letting him know that she was winding tighter. One of her hands found his wrist, holding him in place. Her kisses became sloppy, before stopping all together. He kept his eyes glued to her face, watching the way her eyelashes fluttered, her cheeks flushing with a rosy hue. 

She was gorgeous when she fell apart. 

Moments later she let herself go, a keening cry escaping from her parted lips, one of her legs flying out straight with a splash as she clenched around his fingers. He eased her down, feathering kisses across her temple, his movements slowing as her grip eased. 

Her eyes opened, trapping him in their azure depth. 

“What if I don’t want to relax?” She asked him cheekily, sitting up and pulling her legs underneath her. 

He felt himself throb almost painfully as she turned around, grabbing hold of his length and giving it a few firm strokes. “Then I’m an even luckier man than I thought.”

She smirked as she climbed into his lap then sank down onto him, her channel still quivering with the occasional aftershock. She brought her hands to his shoulders for balance, easing her way down almost torturously slowly. When he finally bottomed out, he felt his gut clench - butterflies fluttering throughout his system. 

She rolled her hips, experimenting at first before riding him at an energetic pace. He palmed her ass with one hand, kneading it, while the other wrapped around the small of her back, helping her move. Licking along her collarbone, he closed his lips, sucking lightly, knowing he’d probably leave a mark. 

Her hands crept up, weaving into his curls. She squeezed her muscles and it stole his breath. He was so close. He shifted her angle, making sure her clit bumped against his pelvis on every down stroke. When he could feel that she was ready to meet him, he tugged lightly at her hair, tilting her head so that their lips could crash together. 

She clenched down hard and his vision whited out, spasms rolling down his spine as his release roared through him. 

When he came back down, Clarke was panting into his mouth, her own body shuddering lightly. 

“You’re perfect,” he told her earnestly, brushing back a wet tendril of hair that had stuck to her cheek. 

She shook her head, her forehead still pressed firmly against his. “No. But I’m yours - and that’s close enough.”

His hands massaged over her skin, and her body melted into his, completely spent and too lazy to move into a more comfortable position. 

She nuzzled against his chest, nose buried in the hollow above his collarbone. His fingertips continued to draw nonsensical patterns across the small of her back, drifting over her skin in a featherlight caress. 

Eventually her breathing evened out. He continued to lay there, feeling her wrapped around him in every way. It was one of his favorite places to be. He would stay in that position for eternity if he could. 

But inevitably the water started to cool, and she began to subtly shiver against him. Reluctantly, he traced his nose across her hairline, before pressing a kiss to her temple. “You have to wake up Babe. If we stay here we’re going to freeze by morning.”

She groaned something incoherent. With a smirk, he drew his fingers along the side of her spine, trying to coax her into being just a little more alert. 

After a few minutes, she shifted, sitting up tall enough to kiss him one last time. He helped her up and out of the tub, using a fluffy towel to dry her off as she swayed sleepily on her feet. 

When he was done, she bent over and snagged his shirt off of the floor, slipping it over her head and holding the worn fabric close, as if she were trying to wrap his scent tighter around her. His heart gave a little gallop as his lips twitched up. 

Throwing his boxers back on, he used a hand on the small of her back to steer her into bed. 

It didn’t take long for her to be curled back around him, her head pillowed by his chest as she let sleep take her once again. 

He pressed his lips into her hair. “I love you Princess,” he whispered softly. He would never be able to say it enough times. 

It felt like he’d just barely closed his eyes, when their bedroom door creaked open. He cracked an eyelid, but the room was still pitch black. 

The bed dipped on Clarke’s side. “I can’t sleep,” Serenity slurred. 

His wife reached over her shoulder, pulling the blankets a little higher over their unexpected guest. 

Within moments, their ears were met with soft snores. Clarke snorted a quiet laugh. 

He wasn’t sure his smile could get any bigger. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully this one didn’t make as many people cry haha. 
> 
> Sorry about the long wait. I needed to take a little break from this fandom so I wrote a couple of anonymous oneshots elsewhere... maybe a few of you stumbled upon them without knowing it lol. 
> 
> Then I accidentally completely destroyed my laptop. An obscene amount of money later I might be getting it back next week - happy birthday to me. This fic was almost completely written on my phone, so if it’s riddled with errors please forgive me. 
> 
> Let me know what all of you thought. As always, your comments and kudos are greatly appreciated and encourage me to continue writing 💜


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